Smooth, silky legs. That's what we are all after, right? My husband sometimes seems astonished when I have smooth legs. I DO shave my legs about three times a week, and usually more when it is summer, and EVERYDAY my last six weeks of pregnancy because I know how many people touch my legs when I am in labor, and I wouldn't want to scare away the doctor would I? And I always shave my legs on Sunday, because I wear a skirt to church.
Speaking of church, for years I would find Keaton kneeling beside me as we are sitting on one of the benches. I'd feel his hand running up and down my leg. Up. Down. Around. Constant motion. He would say "They are so soft, momma!" He just couldn't bring himself to back away. It was like he was in a smooth and silky trance. But it's not just my legs he would find fascinating. He would also run his fingers over Heath's face again and again, just to feel his smooth shave. Sometimes for the whole first hour of church, Keaton will be rubbing his hands across Heath's face. Very funny. Heath is extremely patient to let him do that. It would drive me nuts.
I'm not one of those people who can go for days and days without shaving while still maintaining softness. Within a day of me shaving, I start getting prickles. They grow very fast and very sharp. Ya know the commercial where the girl is shaving her leg, but it's not her leg, it's a stem of a cactus plant? Yeah. That would be my legs. Terrible. But as much as they are like sharp little needles all over my legs, I rarely ever hear Heath complain about them. He never says a word when he runs his hands across my spikes. Only the occasional gasp when he surprisingly gets smooth silk instead. What a guy.
So how did shaving first start? Did Stoney and Stonia decide that it was just a little too toasty in their cave dwelling, what with all the animal furs draped across their hairy bodies, and in an effort to cool down a bit, Stonia grunted, took her husband's makeshift shark tooth razor blade and started going to town on her legs? Why not stop there? What about that crazy lump of hair growing under your arms? Maybe it would be better to have two eyebrows instead of one. And let's reserve the mustaches for the gentleman, ok? I wonder why they decided to leave hair growing upon their head. After all, it does grow much faster than any other part of the body. Who has a use for it?
Sometimes I tire of all the unwanted hair. The husband has a notion to get me laser treatment for hair removal on my legs. Every time he mentions it, I know I shouldn't have let that extra day or two slip past without shaving. I don't blame him. He has a cactus for a wife. I just can't justify the cost of it.
What about you? Are you blessed with smooth legs? What is your defense against tedious shaving?