Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Shaved Legs

Smooth, silky legs. That's what we are all after, right? My husband sometimes seems astonished when I have smooth legs. I DO shave my legs about three times a week, and usually more when it is summer, and EVERYDAY my last six weeks of pregnancy because I know how many people touch my legs when I am in labor, and I wouldn't want to scare away the doctor would I? And I always shave my legs on Sunday, because I wear a skirt to church.

Speaking of church, for years I would find Keaton kneeling beside me as we are sitting on one of the benches. I'd feel his hand running up and down my leg. Up. Down. Around. Constant motion. He would say "They are so soft, momma!" He just couldn't bring himself to back away. It was like he was in a smooth and silky trance. But it's not just my legs he would find fascinating. He would also run his fingers over Heath's face again and again, just to feel his smooth shave. Sometimes for the whole first hour of church, Keaton will be rubbing his hands across Heath's face. Very funny. Heath is extremely patient to let him do that. It would drive me nuts.

I'm not one of those people who can go for days and days without shaving while still maintaining softness. Within a day of me shaving, I start getting prickles. They grow very fast and very sharp. Ya know the commercial where the girl is shaving her leg, but it's not her leg, it's a stem of a cactus plant? Yeah. That would be my legs. Terrible. But as much as they are like sharp little needles all over my legs, I rarely ever hear Heath complain about them. He never says a word when he runs his hands across my spikes. Only the occasional gasp when he surprisingly gets smooth silk instead. What a guy.

So how did shaving first start? Did Stoney and Stonia decide that it was just a little too toasty in their cave dwelling, what with all the animal furs draped across their hairy bodies, and in an effort to cool down a bit, Stonia grunted, took her husband's makeshift shark tooth razor blade and started going to town on her legs? Why not stop there? What about that crazy lump of hair growing under your arms? Maybe it would be better to have two eyebrows instead of one. And let's reserve the mustaches for the gentleman, ok? I wonder why they decided to leave hair growing upon their head. After all, it does grow much faster than any other part of the body. Who has a use for it?

Sometimes I tire of all the unwanted hair. The husband has a notion to get me laser treatment for hair removal on my legs. Every time he mentions it, I know I shouldn't have let that extra day or two slip past without shaving. I don't blame him. He has a cactus for a wife. I just can't justify the cost of it.

What about you? Are you blessed with smooth legs? What is your defense against tedious shaving?

14 comments:

Sharon Carpenter said...

i'm cursed with the prickles too!! and i shave on sundays only mostly... there are a few exceptions. and when i was ready to have jayners, i sheaved everyday, just in case! (and the nurses appreciated it too, because i had like 5 of them comment to me of how smooth my legs were, and how wonderful it was to work with me... haha- they must get a ton of prickly pears)

dippyrooroo said...

I think that permanent hair removal would definitely be the way to go! I was actually thinking about that while I was watching the Olympics. Those swimmers and volleyball players have got to have some kind of permanent procedure done. They are half naked for most of their lives! The hours they log in their swim suits and bikinis! I could not spend that many hours of my life shaving!

hydee said...

Too funny, Unfotunately I must shave EVERYDAY, and pray that I do not get cold because then all my efforts for smooth legs goes right out the window

Heather said...

Hmmmm...how DID shaving start?? Oddly enough, I've often wondered this. I shave just a few times a week. I just tried one of those Venus razors and was soooo disappointed.

I'm Always Rite said...

You're so funny. :) Random. Cool. :]

I shave just once a week on Friday or Saturday. I have really dry skin and the more I shave the drier it gets. I've found that the less often I shave the lighter and thinner and softer and slower the hair is. :)

I knew a kid in high school whose legs were silky smooth and I accused him of shaving. Nope. It was some wierd disease. Can I get some of that? ;)

The Girls' Mom said...

Mine is thining and softening thank goodness. I used to have thick dark hair and my mom wouldn't let me shave until I was 14- EMBARASSING. Needless to say I did a lot of sneaking. Waxing is a nice option, it is painful but worth it!

Jen said...

This is so funny. I am truly a cactus from head to toe. ick.

melissahurst99 said...

I have a friend that plucks her hairs with one of those handheld plucker things. She said the pain was pretty much unbareable the first time, but well worth it. If you ask me, she is nuts!! She said she use to have dark prickly hairs and now they grow in soft and blonde!! You could give that a try!! haha

Karen and Matt said...

I have to shave everyday! I think i'm a litle OCD on the shaving topic! Yeah sometimes I don't do a good job, but oh well. I don't get really prickly, or I don't have any complaints from Matt at all. =) Yes permanent hair removal would be nice!

Ande said...

I am blessed to have blond leg hair and it doesn't get too prickly. I agree with the shaving right before a baby. I also have a pedicure so that I have some pretty toes to look at while I am in labor. (somehow I always get to the hospital and have no socks on, of course I am semi anti sock) I shave once a week. (at the moment it is whenever Tom can help me since I can barely bend over.)

Jen Sue Wild said...

I shave my legs 2 to 3 times a week. I am lucky because my hair is fine so its never prickly Ihave light brown hair so you cant really see it.

courtney said...

I shave when I pull my socks up and it hurts my leg hairs because they are too long and get pulled. That's right, I am a once a month shaver in the winter. Summer time, who knows, I go on spurts where I am shaving every day, and then taper off to trice a month. The pits get shaved every time though!

Jared likes smooth legs but doesn't ever expect it.

KJ-Starre said...

Shaving in this house is a group affair...a bit like surgery actually. The reason being is I tend to draw blood...why, I have no idea...just daft I think. So to avoid this at all costs I am supervised, over a bowl with band aids close by.

Thankfully I was last in the 'Got-hair' queue & I don't have to do it very often.

Hee!Hee! to Keaton...Max is the same :o)

Megan said...

I am a every day kind of girl - or everyday in the winter - or every time I manage to get a shower in for that matter. Otherwise I can hardly let my prickly legs touch! I too have dreamed of permanent hair removal but can't justify it either... one day I will though.