Monday, December 22, 2008

Ongoing Conversation Between the Husband and Me

Rarely does my husband ever offer a solution to the never ending "What should I make for dinner?" question. Most of the time, I choose what we will have, and then, when he asks, I tell him. Sometimes, albeit rarely, he will not like what I have chosen to make, and will eat enough to be polite, then sneak into the kitchen later and make a sandwich.

You'd think that he would tell me what he wants for dinner, thus avoiding the dinners that seem so unappealing to him. But answering that simple question seems to have escaped him. Refer to this conversation earlier yesterday.

Wife: "Babe, what do you feel like eating for dinner tonight?"
Husband: "Whatever."
Wife: "Come on? Do you want chicken, sausage, or ground turkey?"
Husband: "Whatever."
Frustrated Wife: "It's not hard. Just tell me what you want to eat."
Husband who still won't answer: I don't care! Just make something! Stop pressuring me!"

Now I seriously can't understand why he doesn't have an opinion on dinner. He certainly asks me later in the day what I'm making. He certainly gets hungry enough to care about what he's eating. He certainly has an opinion about whether he really likes it or not. So why can't he have an opinion about DECIDING what to make? It doesn't seem difficult to me. However, it's a running battle of a conversation that we have ALL THE TIME.

Of course, since he doesn't offer up his ideas for dinner, he can't complain about what I serve. Heath is just as interested in food as I am. He likes when I find new recipes. We enjoy watching the Food Network together. It seems strange to me that he won't suggest something for dinner.

So do your husbands contribute to the meal planning? I really want to know. Heath says "Men just don't care as long as you put food in front of them." I beg to differ. What's it like in your houses? (By the way, the husband totally knows I'm posting about this. He thinks he is right, and men just don't care. I just don't think it's nagging, to ask what he wants for dinner. I think I'm trying to be a good wife and cook things he wants. What do you think?)

16 comments:

hydee said...

I hate to agree with your husband but mine is the same way.I get the same "whatever you want to make is fine" and the"I don't care you know I like everything you make".I would have to say if I am lucky maybe about 5 times a year he will say "Why don't you make such and such for dinner tonight." But, that is a very rare thing. So, I can feel your pain. It 's a good thing I like to cook.

runningfan said...

This post makes me laugh. So similar to my house! Garry is a LOT more involved in dinner choices and preparation when I am pregnant, since my usually low level of enthusiasm drops off the chart (why cook it if I'm just going to throw it up?). However, to avoid sad husbands and children over my choices, I sometimes make them plan a two-week menu with me, so we all get things we like for dinner.

kdaygirl said...

Jason will eat pretty much anything. He asks whats for dinner as we are sitting down to eat it. If he feels like eating somthing perticular that night, he will actually make it instead of me.

LollyChops said...

Oh this is a good question...(long ramble.. brace yourself)

I ask in the morning (or the night before) and initially I get a "hmmm I dunno".. I keep after him and then start suggesting dishes. Once I start naming specific dishes he perks up and pays attention. I might say creamy pork chops (a new family fav) or sour cream enchiladas (which I have not tried yet but wanted to this week - to which I got a .. hmm sour cream huh..I dunno about that).

So he does contribute.. and I would say about once or twice a week he will actually ask for something specific.. "can we have chicken alfredo pizza tonight?"

So is he totally disinterested..? not really (once I get him going he pays attention and gives me feedback). Since he does not cook it's totally up to me and he does love to eat... so it's a good match!

I think I would be driven a little batty if he did not care at all. I feel your pain Shaina!

Sharon said...

sometimes darick will have a special request, but most of the time he can't decide- or what he chooses is gross.

BrittanyLane said...

Brandon doesn't care, as long as he doesn't have to make the decision. I think he would actually rather force down a meal he doesn't particularly care for than have to make the decision about what to eat. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Ande said...

It depends on the day. Most of the time TOm says that he doesn't care, but then he'll sit there and wrinkle his nose if it is something that he doesn't want. Drives me nuts. Of course sometimes I tell him he is in charge of dinner and I eat whatever it is, even if I just try it.

Jen Sue Wild said...

This is funny..
Dale and I plan the menu pretty much together and then we go shopping together.

Dale also loves to cook and on the weekends he takes over the cooking for me.
I have it easy.. Yes I am spoiled but we all new that.. LOL

traci said...

my husband is just like yours shaina...most men really dont care until its time to complain...

Heath said...

I also think your trying to be a good wife and cook things I want. I just sometimes don't know what I want all the time.

Shavonne said...

My husband said, "That's you women folk's job" He wouldn't give me any ideas either.

Bonnie said...

'k... I'm giggling over this post but because it's exactly the opposite in my house. My husband is the cook - he loves to do it and is incredibly good at it while my talents lie in other directions. I clean up for him - it's the job he hates to do and I'd rather clean than cook so...it works for us. However, the conversation is always the same. He'll ask me what I want for dinner. I will reply it doesn't matter to me - as long as it's not fish. If he's cooking, I'm happy. It's not that I don't care what we eat, it's that I can't think of food on command. I have to be hungry to actually pick something to eat and if he waits until then, well... no one is happy. :) You are not alone in your pain, trust me there. Actually? It is, in part, why we try to plan a menu. Sit down on Sunday and figure out what sounds good & works with our schedule and we're set. Then, it's just the grocery shopping we have to do. Which I avoid, too.........

Colleen said...

Adam sounds a lot like Heath, generally he doesn't complain or dislike, but is always curious. Every once in awhile, like if I make an Indian dish, he won't like it, but will still eat it to be kind and set an example for the boys. But rarely gives input. I asked him your question and he said, "If I am not doing the work to make it, my opinion really shouldn't matter." That works for me...except when I am trying to plan a menu and I can't think of anything else to make and he still won't give me a suggestion!

The Crockett's said...

My husband is the same way! He cooks almost nothing!! Thankfully, for the last year, we have been in a dinner group with 3 of my friends! We each cook dinner for the 4 families one day a week (Mon-Thurs), and on the other days, dinner gets dropped off to us at 5:00. It's WONDERFUL! I love the variety! I think it is cheaper, 'cause you can buy everything in bulk without waste. And you don't eat out on those days you don't feel like, or have time to cook! You only have to come up with 4 recipes each month, and you can repeat your favorites after a couple months.
Of course, we are on our own on the weekends, so that when I have to ask, "What do you want for dinner this weekend?!" With an "I don't know... whatever!" UGH!

Stacey said...

My hubby does the same thing!!! He will never give me an answer about what he wants to eat! Ugh! So he gets what he gets. LOL

I'm Always Rite said...

Superman is just happy I make dinner... if/when I do (because I do not get hungry). I make dinner only because my family says they are hungry. Superman does a lot, if not most of the cooking. I do plan dinner's, but Superman has a lot of input. He likes to cook and try new recipes and he even has a few favorites that I make. We both love to cook so.... I'm sorry Heath, but Shaina wins this one!