Thursday, May 14, 2009

Postal Communications

Went to the post office the other day, in the midst of my very annoying communications with my insurance company. It was a bad day already.
I brought my taped up box that I found in the garage, and dumped it on the scale.

"Oh, look at this box. That will never do." The older guy across the counter said, with his pointed nose peering down at me, almost causing his spectacles to falling off, and actually finished off his initial appraisal with a "tssk tssk".

I had spent quite a bit of time finding a box that would accommodate the three wrapped packages inside, and was pleased to find one that was smaller than a laundry basket. I spent even more time taping it up, and I wasn't going to give up quite so easily. "What's wrong with my box?" I replied...perhaps taking his judgement a bit personally.

"It's got the word 'Listerine' all over it. That means it's a fire hazard."

"The words make it a fire hazard?"

He looked at me like I was an idiot. "Because this box formerly housed a product that is considered flammable, it is not an allowable mode of transport for whatever you are mailing. They would never allow this to be mailed out."

At this point, the second worker behind the counter walks over, looks at my box, and then turns her own nose down at me. "Oh no. Never allowed. Never. We can't mail that."

I sigh heavily.

They offer suggestions on other Priority boxes, that are much too small to fit whatever items I have hidden inside my flammable box, and I am left with no other option than to go home and find another box. One that is worthy of being mailed by the post office.

"Oh, but there is one more thing you can do." the worker with the pointed nose calls after me. "You can cover the box with a brown paper bag so we can't see what the box was used for. Then, we can mail it for you."

I turn back. "So you are saying, that if I take a paper bag, which makes a great fire starter, and cover the already assessed 'fire-waiting to happen' box, then I can bring it back and you will mail it out with no problems."

"Yes ma'am."

Well, that makes a lot of sense.
I brought back the brown-bagged flammable box the next day. It should arrive at my friend's doorstep, barring any flammable incidents, in two days.

19 comments:

Sharon said...

i wish i worked at the post office, then i could encounter ladies like you.... and tell people what to do:) i guess there's always a way of bending the rules

kendra said...

what a pain! You have had to deal with way too many bureacracy's lately. What a horrible experience with the insurance company too. Why do they always make things so difficult?

My post office in Iowa was Horrible too. They are as bad as the guys that check your carry-ons at the airport to make sure each bottle is only 3.4 oz.

sarasophia said...

I am dying laughing at the ridiculousness of the world....


<3 sarasophia

ronee said...

I know..isnt the post office LAME!

Ali said...

I keep being sucked back into your blog by your wonderderful story telling!

Crystal said...

That makes no sense whatsoever! At least you didn't have to worry about finding another box, but having wrap it just to cover the words must've been annoying.

Jen Sue Wild said...

I love the post office..

runningfan said...

Things could have been worse. You could have taken four ornery screaming kids to the post office with you...both times.

Ande said...

gotta love it!! It is always something.

The Brown's Sanitarium said...

HA HA!! that is great!

Dan and Katie said...

Just another reason why you should never go to the post office! Government run entities are wonderful!

BrittanyLane said...

Is Listerine even flammable? That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day. I have mailed all kinds of funky looking packages. I think they have to mail it, even if they don't like it. They must have been bored or something.

I'm Always Rite said...

You totally should have gone postal on them! Ha! ;)

PS Thank you so much for dealing with the postal service to make a friend smile. You rock!

Colleen said...

That's just rediculous! But pretty darn funny!

DougandSheilah said...

That is totally a post office way of thinking.

Adri said...

That seriously cracks me up (in a sympathetic kind of way). I also love how postal workers always ask you if you are mailing anything hazardous. "Actually, yes, I am trying to mail something hazardous. Thank you for asking." Really!

FORD RULES said...

That's great you should see the things that go in the mail. They shouldn't squable over a listerine box. Lets hope it makes it there with the paper still on it...they may send it back! My dad would love this he retired from the PO.

Carolann said...

Too funny!

dippyrooroo said...

Se- that's why I hate the post office! You add three break-dancing monkeys and a line full of grumpy people that's at least half an hour long and that's what my experience has been like almost every time.