Thursday, January 7, 2010

Stupid Things I Did As A Kid

Brought half a batch of raw cookie dough to school to share with all my friends when I was in 7th grade. It sat in my locker, all day, as my friends and I partook of its raw sugary goodness. I was sick for days.
.
Let my older, bigger, and meaner cousins double jump me on the trampoline. I ended up crumpled on the ground with a bloody lip.
.
Got so excited seeing a return missionary visit during girls camp, that after I talked with him, I was so full of stupid girly hormones that I ran off through the trees towards my camp, to boast about my conversation with a boy, and completely missed seeing the clothesline pulled taunt between the branches. I gave myself whiplash...not to mention two scars across my upper eyelid where the rope unforgivingly stopped my progress, and landed unceremoniously on my back, with the wind knocked out of me. To add insult to injury, I was still within eyesight of the guy.
.
Tried to see how small I could make my pencil, and still be able to write with it. I ended up sharpening it so much, that I sharpened my thumb. Tore the nail right off.

.
Said "ok" to my sister, when she told me to hold the watermelon with my two hands, because she was going to hold the big butcher knife with her two hands, as she sliced the watermelon up for all of us kids. She ended up slicing something else...namely my fingers.
.
Helped my little 2 year old brother go to the bathroom at church. I mistakenly had him sit down, and I squatted down in front of him, holding on to his shoulders so he wouldn't lose his balance. With my hands occupied already, I forgot that I needed to make sure his, uh, anatomy was pointing downward. I got peed on, completely saturating my church dress. Unfortunately, there were two hours left of church that I had to endure through, smelling like pee.
.
Dated a guy, for far too long, who couldn't ever remember how to pronounce my name.
.
I wore my dad's oversized steel toe boots to school one day during a "spirit week" to accessorize my outfit, and forgot to bring a separate pair of shoes to wear when my feet got tired of lugging around the 10 pound weights. The mile long walk home was a nightmare, especially since my feet didn't even come halfway up the length of the boots.
.
I dressed up for Halloween when I was in the 7th grade, and proudly wore my outfit to school for the day. I had on my over the shoulder shirt with a belt clip on the side, a jean skirt that flared just above the knee, fishnet tights, ankle-length high heeled boots, with my hair teased out and lots of makeup on. I was the coolest "punk rocker" ever. I got lots of looks and comments throughout the day, but the one that really stood out was: "What are you supposed to be?", and I answered "Isn't it obvious?", and she said "A hooker?"

8 comments:

Jen Sue Wild said...

LOL the hooker and the bofriend almost made me pee my pants laughing.

Dan and Katie said...

Great stories!

The Girls' Mom said...

that was a fun little read, made me smile

runningfan said...

Delightful post! My favorite was the clothesline...

Sharon said...

haha!! not funny at the time, but really funny now!

edyB said...

Well aren't you a fun one! Have you told the kidlets all these little tidbits??? Hee Hee
You know they will come back at you with "So, Mom, you did ----"

Keep Smiling!

Burns Family said...

Funny memories...I think I remember a few of those things...especially the halloween costume. Did I partake in the cookie dough? Can't remember!

Jennifer Magreevy said...

Wow, a hooker! That's an interesting halloween costume for a 13-year-old. Then again, I believe at 13, I dressed up as death. Complete with white face and all. Nice. :) And glad to know I'm not the only one who has way too many "how I injured myself..." stories from my childhood!!