A few weeks ago, as we were preparing to go to a Farmer's Market Kick-off Party, I let the market person know how many of us to expect. I told her 2 adults and 5 kids, which doesn't seem that unordinary to me. She gasped. "5 kids! Seriously! You birthed 5 kids!?!" Uh, yeah. Big deal, right?
Then I started to think: Yes. It is a big deal. This especially hit home today, as I looked around the church congregation and saw that one of my close friends wasn't present. She is older than me, and due to the cards dealt her, she has never been able to have children of her own. She has a few step-sons, but I know that isn't the same, when you long to carry a child. So here I am, complaining about my kids, and I think I even said something to my kids along the lines of "Don't talk to me" as we were driving to church. Yeah. I should be slapped. Totally ungrateful.
I looked around some more at church, and saw many wives whose husbands were deployed, and yet they are at church with their kids, trying to teach them good things and are doing it alone.
I thought about the friends I have who have lost a child in their life, and they no longer get to see their sweet children grow up and discover new things. I'm sure their arms ache all the time, but today especially.
I thought about what my life would be like next year at this time. Will Kimble survive his next surgery? Will something happen to one of my other kids? This is a very sensitive subject for me, and I have no right to be so annoyed at being a mother, today of all days, when I have so many blessings in front of me.
My attitude needs to be changed, and I'm the only one who can do it. I really am so grateful for my family, and each one of my children that God blessed me with. I will be a better mother, so I can deserve them.
This weekend, the kids and The Husband presented me with my Mother's Day gift. They each made a card for me, and wherever you see words, they glued on flower seeds. All I have to do is "plant" the papers where I want them, and the seeds will grow in the shape of the words. I also got a package of bulb flowers, to plant in our front yard. Very fun! I can't wait to see how they grow! (Side note: Kolby likes to look as displeased as possible, in pictures now....his choice. oh well.)
After church today, my three primary-age kids gave me cards that they filled out during primary. The answers were interesting and funny, so I thought I would share some.
Question: My favorite thing to do with my mom is: Throw balloons (Kolby), help her (Kennedy), spend time with her (Keaton).
Question: My mom doesn't like: Dogs (Kolby), Drama (Kennedy), Shopping (Keaton).
Question: What is her favorite hobby? Sewing (Keaton and Kolby), Traveling (Kennedy).
Question: My mom helps me: Bike ride (Kolby), learn to be safe (Kennedy), Choose the right (Keaton).
Question: My favorite memory about my mom is: When she made me a doll that looked exactly like me (Keaton).
Question: Describe your mom: My mom has brown hair, she is 15 years old, she loves the color pink and she likes to eat (Kennedy). My mom's name is Shaina, she is 35 years old and 60 inches tall. She has red hair and she likes to sew (Kolby). My mom is 35 and she has brown hair (Keaton).
Keaton also gave me a handwritten note that he worked long and hard on. It reads:
You are so special to me, I wouldn't live without you. You cook dinner for us and I say Whoo Whoo! I feel so safe and happy because you hug me so lovingly that I love you too. I would like to help you so much that I can't help enough. You help me so that I love you too.
I'm very thankful for my kids; each one of them. Even when I struggle to get them to understand all the things I try to teach them, I love each one of them and am so happy they have blessed my life.